To keep your Vista running at Top Notch Speed ...

All credit to BandofSeven of Warez-BB

Disclaimer
The Following are some tips and tricks to boost the vista speed. SOme tested some aren't. Try at your own risk

The single biggest irritation in Windows Vista is the UAC (User Account Control) system, especially for people that do a lot of tweaking. When you are trying to make configuration changes, it seems like every couple of seconds you are hitting another UAC prompt.

1) Disable UAC Entirely

Open up Control Panel, and click on User Accounts. You'll see a link for "Turn User Account Control (UAC) on or off": Turn this off and reboot.



2)Registry Fix's:


Add Take Ownership to the Context Menu in Vista
Add Copy To Folder and Move To Folder to the Context Menu in Vista
Add Group Policy Editor to Control Panel in Vista
Add DiskCleanup to Right-Click Menu for a Drive
Add Control Panel to the Desktop Right-Click Menu in Vista
Test your Boot Speed
Louder Vista Sounds
Speed up the Menu Show Delay Time in Vista
Speed Up Shutdown in Vista

Code:

http://rapidshare.com/files/236253955/Reg_Addons_2.rar

3)Remove Optional and Probably Unnecessary Windows Vista Components

In the never-ending quest to rid your computer of unnecessary bloat, Windows Vista has a lot less options than prior versions, but you can still get rid of some of the extra Windows components that you don't need.

Open up Control Panel and go to the Programs and Features section. Find the link for "Turn Windows features on or off"

This dialog is quite self-explanatory… uncheck the things you don't want, and hit the OK button. Depending on the version of Vista you are running you might not see everything in the list.

Guidelines, Not Set In Stone

Just to get you started, here's a few tips on what an average user might want to enable or disable. The rules will be different for everybody, depending on your applications and needs, so don't take these as absolute.








4)Get back/Increase 20% of your Bandwidth in Vista.

For Vista Ultimate 32/64 bit Versions Only.

I dont know if this is known but you can turn off the bandwidth microsoft reserves for its own usage such as background updates and patches. Even though you see it greyed out or not set it has a hidden settings default value of 20%.

I like the full usage of my bandwidth so this firstly click Start / Run / Type in, GPEDIT.MSC






GPEDIT.MSC

then a Group Policy Object Editor will popup.

Under Local Computer Policy

click or expand Adminstrative Templates

next click or expand Network

then click on Qos Packet Scheduler (remember dont click on the expander here just click on Qos Packer Scheduler)

Now double click Limit reservable bandwidth

(You will see Not configured which is the default settings but in reality Vista has already taken 20% of your bandwidth to reserve for updates and stuff like that.)

Now click on Enabled then in the Bandwidth limit (%) set it to 0 then click apply then reboot.





5)Defragment your Hard Disks Daily..Defragment Your System Files (Pagefile and Registry)at least once a week in Vista


Raxco Perfect Disk 10 Professional


I myself think Raxco Perfect Disk 10 Professional is the best on the market.





7)Enable High Performance in your power and HHD Settings.




1)Right click on desktop/personalize/Screensaver/Change power settings/High Performance.
2)Right click Computer/properties/Advanced System Settings/Hardware/Device Manager/expand Disk drives/right click on your hard drive/properties/Policies/Enable advanced performance.




8)Manage your Start up Applications.

start/Run/msconfig/





To ckeck out what services are running on automatic and started.

1)Start/Run/services.msc find a app right click and choose Properties/ change to what ya like.

Now if you stoped a service or app from running at start up, It's service could still be running , so look at witch settings are set to Automatic and change the ones you want to manual.




10) Disable or Enable the Transient Multimon Manager (TMM) in Vista


Information:

Transient Multimon Manager (TMM) is a Microsoft Windows Vista operating system feature
targeted at improving the user experience of connecting and disconnecting displays,
particularly for the mobile user. This is the 2-3 second delay followed by a blank black
screen as Vista searches for monitor changes when you startup Vista. For more information
on TMM, see: Microsoft: Transient Multimon Manager (TMM)


NOTE:

TMM is enabled by default in Vista. Disabling TMM will get rid of that 2-3 second delay at
startup.


WARNING:

If you do not use a external monitor for a mobile PC or multiple monitors on a desktop PC,
then you can safely disable TMM. Do not disable TMM if you do.





1. Open the Start Menu.

A) Click on All Programs, Accessories, System Tools, and Task Schedular.

B) Go to step 2.

OR

1. Open the Control Panel (Classic View).

A) Click on Administrative Tools -> Computer Management.

2. If prompted, click on Continue in the UAC prompt.

3. In the left pane, expand Task Scheduler, Task Scheduler Library, Microsoft, Windows,
and click on MobilePC. (See screenshot below)

4. In the middle pane, right click on TMM.

5. To Disable TMM -

A) Click on Disable.

B) Go to step 7.

6. To Enable TMM -

A) Click on Enable.
NOTE: TMM is enabled by default in Vista.


7. Close Task Scheduler.

8. Logoff and logon, or restart the computer to see the change.



11)AND MOST IMPORTANT !!!!!

Make A Complete PC Back Up Using Only Windows Functions and Perfect Disk:

When you get your pc where ya want it do as follows:

Right click on Computer , Start / Computer/ Right click hit manage/ Disc Management/





Forgot to add a good size for your back up drive is 45 GB: Just to be on the safe side. You can go bigger and store movies / music / whatever It's your choice. By the time I'm done installing everything back on my PC it's close to 41 GB. So better larger than smaller, I hate that not enough space error. Another tip is to clean temp files and delete all but last restore point before making a complete back up.


Now go to start / all programs / Accessories/ System Tools/ BackUp Status and Configuration /





90% of PC users dont know how to do a complete PC backup.. I just read, so I hope this will save ya alot of trouble.

No third party software needed, taking up your drive space and alot of software will cause your pc not to boot..

Boot from the disk you made above , keep hitting F12 key continually , then boot from dvd rom drive. Repair your computer / then fing com/ pc backup option..

Vista Ultimate is great all it needs is some TLC with a few tweaks..

Hopefully this will help somebody!

I Spent alot of time on this I hope you EnJoy...



12) OPPS Forgot this one, set your page file to recommended value before you defrag your system files.

Start / right click computer/ properties / advanced system settings / advanced / performance settings / advanced / virtual memory change / set both to recommend value

The Punnishment

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT !".
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you", and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird, and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says: "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Methods to kill a Lion

Methods to kill a Lion

Newton 's Method:

Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.. Implies you caught lion.


Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.


Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.


Sri Lanken Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .


OneShot Method :

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.


Dushanth Weeraman method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.


George bush method:

Link the lion with Osama bin laden and then bomb the Lion!!!


Mahela Jayawardena method:

Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders.


Ranil Wickramasingha's method:

Ask the lion to wait till he becomes president. Lion may wait another 15 years and finally commit suicide.